Feeding Time at the Pub

We spontaneously went out for dinner tonight, the four of us.  I had a nice time, I'm glad we went; there is no cooking or washing up for me to do this Friday night; great. However, meals out with my kids never quite live up to the rose-coloured vision that I anticipate before we go.

They aren't bad.  They are just little boys that don't quite understand the art of polite conversation over drinks while you wait for your food to arrive.  Friends with older kids do assure me that it does become more pleasant and less frenetic an event, the older they get, and I believe them.  Two years ago when we went out for dinner en famille (why the hell did we bother? what were we thinking?) it was essential that we carried enough raisins to feed them slowly to Sebi between the time he got in his high chair and the time his food arrived.  Of course, he didn't then eat his poxy food as he was stuffed full with 385 raisins (yes, I counted).

We don't believe in ipads or dvd players over dinner.  We have done that once, when we were out for dinner with other children who were watching them and it was the most blissful family meal we have had.  We were able to chat and relax and have more wine.  I do hope however that our anti-gadget meals will eventually pay dividends when the boys are older.....

Back to tonight.  Zak got the waiter and waitress immediately on side by ordering his own dinner and drink with impeccable manners.  Unfortunately, his little brother as a captive audience was too much of a temptation and I don't think the waitress thought he was quite as cute when he said "Bottom!" at the top of his voice.

Sebi tried to order "Champagne, like Mummy" and shot the waiter one of his best killer-death stares when he dared to suggest that apple juice might be slightly more suitable.

Two glasses of champagne in, I held my lovely husband's hand over the table and reminded him that it was so nice that our terrible-twosome got on so beautifully and had such a good time together as some siblings just fight all the time.  In the two seconds during which we were pondering this, Sebi went face-down into his pizza and Zak tried to set his raisin packet on fire with the table candle.

So, two hours later and we are £95 worse off but with nice full bellies.  My husband thinks three glasses of fizz was excessive during a kids' tea-time meal.  I think it was absolutely necessary to achieve Nice-Mummy.

The proof of the pudding was when I popped to say hello to a couple of old work colleagues of mine that I saw sitting over the other side of the pub.  "Oh yes, we saw you when we came in", they said, "and we decided to leave you to it".  My beautiful children have turned us into restaurant-pariahs.  Thank God we don't tend to bump into people we know when we are on aeroplanes....