Hopefully the last work-related blog post for a while! A quick update on my improved mindset towards my job. In a nutshell, I manned up a bit.
It took a while and there was some distinct lack of man-uppiness in between. In the course of the last week; I've had my first row, I've cried in the staff room, I've cried on the Head, I've attempted resignation and I've sworn quite a lot. Well done me. (What. A. Knob.)
Surprisingly all this has resulted in me getting quite a few more friends! I'm aware that this could possibly be that people are just wanting to see what happens next to the car crash... When I was mid-about-to-resign state on Wednesday, I sobbed on the Head of Music that I was just going to be remembered as that Head of Drama that cried a lot then left.
The hilarious thing is, that when I went for my meeting with the Head, unable to decide if I was about to be fired or was going to resign; I came out 15 minutes later completely at peace with the world and then couldn't quite understand why everyone was still 'fussing' over me. 'I'm fine now', I cheerfully told everyone. People in general were looking a little bit puzzled. I keep forgetting that this group of staff don't know me. The fluctuating tide of emotion is yet to become normal to them and from the outside it could well be misinterpreted as fair to middling psychosis.
I'm making it sound as if the entire staff knew I was a complete cock. I don't think they did, but it is not the largest staff body around and so I'm guessing that a fair few of them are privvy to the fact. I heard by default today that there is apparently an email that goes around on a Friday about going to the pub. 'Why didn't they email it to me?' I lamented at my poor dear husband as I frogmarched him to the pub instead after work. 'Erm, probably because you keep crying and they'd rather go out with cheerful people?' Yikes. Alright Stu. Hearing you loud and clear there.
Roll on next week. Even more than that; roll on the summer hols - four weeks to go!
Friday, 19 June 2015
Thursday, 11 June 2015
Feeling the Fear
Nine days in and I'm pausing for breath. A nice, deep one.
In so many ways the job has started really well. Everybody is more than friendly, the kids are so pleased to have a permanent drama teacher and the cleaning out of someone's years of crap collecting works well for a serial binner like me.
Why then am I finding it so hard? I'm not such a tough cookie as I thought. In many ways a department of one suits me very well. Everybody in my department accepts my decisions on the first vote. Everyone in my department gets their shit done when its meant to and everyone in my department seems to agree on the best way of things being run. It is however, the tiniest bit lonely. It is horrendously tempting to stay shut in away in cupboard at all times as there is so much work to do. Why bother eating my sandwich whilst trying not to make conversation with my mouth full in the staff room when I could be happily writing drama grading criteria on my own in a cupboard with crumbs all over my face. Oh...
I haven't found my deviant mates yet. I know they must be out there (surely, surely?!) It is good that the colleagues that you meet in a school seem friendly, yet professional and sensible. That means they are good teachers. Even I can pull that one off with advanced acting skills. However, there seems to be no element of naughtiness I can sniff out so far. Everybody is extraordinarily good at their jobs and very keen. 4pm on a Friday I am in the pub with my Beaumont colleagues lying face down on a table emptying a bottle of rose in five minutes. What worries me is that this is also the nearest pub to my new school and yet the other guys are not there.
I'm getting all sorts of advice from every area of my life:
'Take cans of gin and tonics to the staff rounders match.' (Shelley)
'Screw the lot of them and do your own thing.' (Dad - note why he never entered the world of teaching).
'Liven up T&L briefing by arriving with a bottle of fizz.' (The Greek. 8.15am I may add)
A gorgeous friend from Beaumont yesterday told me that it is good to shake things up and try somewhere different. Beaumont is like family, said she, and lots of people never end up leaving for the wrong reasons. She is so right. However, I love that family, they took me, warts and all, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. I will cut the umbilical cord, soon; get me to September and I'm sure I will have found the new school Friday boozing haunt and won't even remember the family names.
Maybe... Just maybe...
x
In so many ways the job has started really well. Everybody is more than friendly, the kids are so pleased to have a permanent drama teacher and the cleaning out of someone's years of crap collecting works well for a serial binner like me.
Why then am I finding it so hard? I'm not such a tough cookie as I thought. In many ways a department of one suits me very well. Everybody in my department accepts my decisions on the first vote. Everyone in my department gets their shit done when its meant to and everyone in my department seems to agree on the best way of things being run. It is however, the tiniest bit lonely. It is horrendously tempting to stay shut in away in cupboard at all times as there is so much work to do. Why bother eating my sandwich whilst trying not to make conversation with my mouth full in the staff room when I could be happily writing drama grading criteria on my own in a cupboard with crumbs all over my face. Oh...
I haven't found my deviant mates yet. I know they must be out there (surely, surely?!) It is good that the colleagues that you meet in a school seem friendly, yet professional and sensible. That means they are good teachers. Even I can pull that one off with advanced acting skills. However, there seems to be no element of naughtiness I can sniff out so far. Everybody is extraordinarily good at their jobs and very keen. 4pm on a Friday I am in the pub with my Beaumont colleagues lying face down on a table emptying a bottle of rose in five minutes. What worries me is that this is also the nearest pub to my new school and yet the other guys are not there.
I'm getting all sorts of advice from every area of my life:
'Take cans of gin and tonics to the staff rounders match.' (Shelley)
'Screw the lot of them and do your own thing.' (Dad - note why he never entered the world of teaching).
'Liven up T&L briefing by arriving with a bottle of fizz.' (The Greek. 8.15am I may add)
A gorgeous friend from Beaumont yesterday told me that it is good to shake things up and try somewhere different. Beaumont is like family, said she, and lots of people never end up leaving for the wrong reasons. She is so right. However, I love that family, they took me, warts and all, and we laughed and laughed and laughed. I will cut the umbilical cord, soon; get me to September and I'm sure I will have found the new school Friday boozing haunt and won't even remember the family names.
Maybe... Just maybe...
x
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