Returning somewhere that you had the time of your life when you went previously is always a risk in case it doesn't live up to expectations. Take some of your closest friends with you and that risk doubles as they might arrive and wonder what you were making such a fuss about.
The Renner family's more immediate problem however, was that they didn't actually arrive; well not on the first day anyway. We were flying from Gatwick and we drove down and parked; Kate and Ralph were getting the train. As we were getting the bus to the airport from the car park, Ralph sent Stu a text saying that they were just having breakfast and aiming to get to the airport for 2pm. The flight was leaving at 1.10pm. Before Stu had a small heart attack I told him that Ralph was definitely on the wind up. Another couple of texts confirmed this and we all had a big laugh about it... until their train broke down five minutes later. So, they missed their plane and ended up doing a 24 hour marathon via Corfu and arriving a day later than expected and at least a grand worse off! Yowch.
They took it in their stride and we were soon into a happy routine of swimming in the morning and booting the kids into kids club in the afternoon indulging in some serious R&R. Another great bunch of people this year by the pool and lo and behold only one couple that seriously got up my nose. They were mind-numbingly and painfully dull. I was slightly chastised and told that they were probably just very shy. I'm not convinced. They were EVERYWHERE. Surely, if you're shy you don't stand in the middle of a group of people at the bar? If you were really really shy you would be watching the group of people at the bar from behind a bush? Talking of bushes; Jon (one half of my favourite couple from this year) decided that the boring/frumpy exterior was merely a cover up for this dreadful woman being a filthy dirty minx. I remain unconvinced.
Remaining with that thought however, Kate and I were lying by the pool one day discussing our fellow holidaymakers. I was expressing the opinion that everyone was a little too perfect for my liking and it felt a bit like Stepford Wives on tour. This led into the discussion about which of the ladies had ever taken it up the bum, which ended up with us howling with laughter on our sunbeds. They were probably looking at us thinking we were such nice girls too! Maybe not actually?
Kate and I did some drunken night swimming in Gen and Jon's pool. It got progressively darker and darker as the complex turned all the lights off until we decided it was time we headed home. Kate couldn't find her flip flops in the pitch black and so I crawled on my hands and knees feeling for them all around the pool until she remembered that she had actually come out with bare feet that night!
Sebi became famous in his own right by doing a dance to Gangnam Style at one of the pyjama parties. I was obviously seriously impressed but didn't realise what an overnight sensation he had become in Lefkas until we hit the pool the next morning and all the older kids were shouting out "There he is!" "Alright Sebi?" "Great dancing!". Seb was un-phased by all the attention and carried on floating about with a number of Mickey Mouse theme buoyancy aids. I think he gets his night-time behaviour from his mother and his daytime modesty from his father...
Ralph and I are both pretty dominant, strong-minded, obstinate and stubborn creatures. I joked a lot before we went on holiday about how I was going to drink a bottle (or two) of wine every night and have a go at him. It all went according to plan and we had some very heated debates. One night, he asked me to tell him exactly what I thought of him. Some sober bit of my mind nagged me that this probably wasn't a particularly sensible idea so I asked my dear husband what I should do. Stu decided that I could tell Ralph exactly what I thought of him for precisely 30 seconds and then Ralph was not allowed to say anything in response. It got better and better. I think I crapped on for at least a minute in the end and then there was a deathly silence... We all remained good friends in the morning though as Ralph (professes) that he can't remember anything I said. The final battle of our holiday war ensued on the way to the airport on our return journey. Ralph decided to follow me even though I said there was no need as even a monkey could navigate the 25 minute journey from our villas to the airport. Nevertheless, we set off, in convoy. Then I got lost. Ralph found his way there before we did in the end, although I had put him through another "we're going to miss our flight", unnecessary panic. In the check-in queue I admitted defeat and that we ended the holiday with him being absolutely right and me being totally wrong. Stu and I were laughing that some people who were still in their swimmers by the pool when we left for the airport were ahead of us in the queue then.... Ooops.
I finished my holiday as every by drinking a bottle of champagne on the plane on the way home. Delish. Stu wasn't drinking as he was driving from Gatwick but so I didn't look gluttonously alcoholic, I asked the flight attendants to chill some champagne "as a surprise for my husband". I then told Stu that he had to look surprised and delighted as the champagne was delivered that he was not going to drink. Lucky chap.
No comments:
Post a Comment