That Bulgarian Business....

Stuart is working very hard these days at his new job and it is going well.  It involves a lot of travelling so my phobia of staying home 'alone' has had to get over itself rather suddenly; a bottle of champagne through a straw seems to do the trick.  His new boss has given him some guidance about working from home and told him it will be hard as you will be around for a few days and your wife will get used to having you about and then it will be difficult for her when you are then away.  "You haven't met my wife" replied Stuart perceptively.

My poor husband told me that he was having to do a business trip to Bulgaria this month. I felt really sorry for him, three days away from home training up some Bulgarians in deepest darkest February.  Then the goalposts shifted just a touch.  The business trip became more temperate as the dates changed to the end of April and I was genuinely pleased for Stuart, much more pleasant.  A few more Sales Men were added to the mix and suddenly it was becoming a bit of a piss up too.  Nice.  Again, good luck to you mate.  I'm examining two of the days he will be away but I don't bear a grudge and I will work my socks off and juggle the kids quite happily while he has a nice time in the Bulgarian sunshine.  More power to him (I'm planning a week's jaunt to Sydney in October so racking up some points....!)

Over dinner the other night my cousin slipped in to the conversation that the 'scenery' in Bulgaria was lovely.  My considerate husband tried to cover up by saying that he had heard it was actually in the middle of an industrial estate.  "No, no, no" said my pissed and not-tactful-at-the-best-of-times cousin, "the SCENERY is really really good."  It came out in the wash that the person Stuart is going to be training and spending all of his time with over there is apparently very beautiful; stunning in fact.  Oh great.

I'm not that jealous a person.  I most definitely used to be but nearly seven years of marriage irons out most of those wrinkles.  I never poke through his emails/texts etc. anymore.  Oh believe me I used to but had my pokey-pointy nose well and truly burnt once on that front so decided that these days ignorance is bliss.  However, the thought of my husband spending three pissed and steamy nights with Miss Bulgaria 2012 does not exactly have me jumping for joy.

I immediately phoned my wise counsel Samantha for some sympathy and advice.  Once she had finished pissing herself with laughter she told me not to worry as Bulgarian women have hairy fannies and armpits and stinky breath.  (She is well racist.)  Probably not true but I will be clinging on to this hope as I wave him off into the ether in two months time.

If anything good is to come out of this I reckon it will be that Stu may well have a gift of a replacement wedding ring sooner rather than later.  I've been dragging my feet on this since he lost it in the Greek sea last summer but maybe the fact that the price of gold has doubled since last time I bought him one isn't so important anymore....