It was doomed from the start as Zak finished school two days before Sebi and me. I threatened him with death or loss of X box, (which is worse), if he even breathed a moment's boast to Seb of his longer holidays. To give him his due, he didn't, really. There were a few smug smiles behind Sebi's head as he got into his school uniform but it was all just for my benefit. The problem was that Zak now got two full days of being at home alone. First day, not too bad. He went out and met his friends and played football. Day two however, he was in, ALL DAY, apart from a trip to Sainsbury's to get lunch. There were two problems with this; one, he had unlimited screen time all day with no adults in the house which turned him into Voldermort's more evil twin, and secondly, the mess he managed to create. I kid you not, I walked into the kitchen last night and if somebody had told me I had been burgled I would have believed it. Zak's default way for travelling around the house is with an Ipad in both hands and kicking a football in front of him no matter what he is doing or what he is carrying. When I enquired why the kitchen floor was crunchy he told me that whilst getting a glass out of the cupboard he had knocked over the sugar jar and didn't know how to clear it up. That was obvious. What he didn't add in was that he then spilled apple juice on top of it, (which he left too), and then, (and this is the bit that really hurts), he had moved a half full bottle of champagne with a stopper in on its side in the fridge to fit the apple juice back in the door. The champagne then dribbled down the side of the fridge. Most things I can forgive but sacrificing champagne is not ever okay in this house.
Anyway, he's off on a sleepover in an hour. He just came down and told me he was packed. There is a sleeping bag with an Ipad on top ready to go. I mean, I travel light but that is ridiculous. Apparently there is no point taking his toothbrush because he won't use it, likewise clean pants and socks. I have managed to get his onesie into the mix however as I don't think at 12 he is going to 'one of those' kinds of sleepovers yet.
Stu has gone to Manchester to rekindle his bromance with Gibbo, not even Storm Dennis can keep them apart. I didn't check his packing but I wouldn't be surprise if it is of the same ilk as Zak's. Sebi and I are therefore looking forward to 24 hours of one-on-one perfect contentment. It would be wrong to say that we don't love the other two members of our family but we are seriously happy when we are left alone too. The place is harmonious, cleaner, less smelly and quieter. We can read without music playing or footballs hitting our heads. We can eat meals without meat and watch films without guns.
I'm sure once I've sanitised Zak on his return and put him to bed early tomorrow night our half term will then be great fun for all three of us. I will ensure I drink a full bottle of champagne each night to save any future spillages. I really do only have myself to blame...
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