Well, not exactly give up, but, drink within 'the government's recommended guidelines', which is basically as bad.
My evil-eyeball-eating-itself disease seems to be resistant to every type of eyedrop known to man so instead we need to suppress my immune system with some kind of chemotherapy instead (it's not cancerous however). It's a clinical trial, I have no fear of things like this, but the two things that it can't cope with are (a) alcohol and (b) sunshine. Seriously, talk about fucking up your summer!
It is going to be very good for me I'm sure. 2-3 units a night, rather than 2 bottles on a weekend night cannot help but reap benefits but the downside is I'm obviously going to be sober. Sober on nights out, sober out for dinner, sober at the pub, sober after a shit day at work, sober at birthdays, sober at Christmas, sober at celebrations, sober at Sunday lunch, sober with my Dad, sober with my husband, sober with my bezzie, sober when my kids are pissing me off, sober on a Friday night, sober on a Saturday night, sober on weekends away, sober at the two summer balls I'm attending, sober on holiday (and sitting in the shade for the love of God!) - mainly quite sober!
Now, I'm not for one cotton-pickin minute insinuating that I only ever have fun when I am drinking, because that would make me a fully bonafide alcoholic, but, I have never actually tried the fun sober stuff. I am never the designated driver and tend to be the life and soul of the party always with some champagne in my belly.
Ahhhhh, champagne. My one true love. This makes me especially sad. Therefore I have decided to invest in this:
24 x individual bottles of champagne that I can keep in the fridge to ensure that I can have my 2-3 units a night, cold and fizzy. I knew that these were invented for a reason.
It's bollocks but I appreciate that it is also karma. If there is anyone in the world that probably needed a reality check on alcohol, it is me. Maybe I will come out of this year a reformed character and irritate the masses with my newly emphatic evangelism on the benefits of sobriety and the evils of the demon drink. Hmmmm, maybe not. I think it is more likely that I sulk my way through the year, grumpily accepting only the invitations that I have to and avoiding most other social situations. Basically spending the year as if I was pregnant but without the cute alcohol-soaked baby at the end of it.
I may become a bore on this blog, I warn you now. I need to get my kicks from somewhere. If you are not a proper dirty drinker like me then none of what I've said so far will be resonating with you. If you are on my wave length then you will be feeling my pain, reaching for your favourite tipple and just having a little check that your eyeball looks as it should, thanking your lucky stars and raising a glass to my sobriety.
I think I will be probably making it 50.5 weeks instead of the required 52 so that I can celebrate my 40th in style next April. As Samantha sympathetically pointed out to me a couple of days ago though; there is not much point spending the money I was going to on my 40th, as after a year off the booze I will definitely be the cheapest date in the room. I could possibly be passed out on the floor by 7.30pm, but, if I am, I am sure that I will be asleep and very, very happy!
Cheers :-/ x
It's bollocks but I appreciate that it is also karma. If there is anyone in the world that probably needed a reality check on alcohol, it is me. Maybe I will come out of this year a reformed character and irritate the masses with my newly emphatic evangelism on the benefits of sobriety and the evils of the demon drink. Hmmmm, maybe not. I think it is more likely that I sulk my way through the year, grumpily accepting only the invitations that I have to and avoiding most other social situations. Basically spending the year as if I was pregnant but without the cute alcohol-soaked baby at the end of it.
I may become a bore on this blog, I warn you now. I need to get my kicks from somewhere. If you are not a proper dirty drinker like me then none of what I've said so far will be resonating with you. If you are on my wave length then you will be feeling my pain, reaching for your favourite tipple and just having a little check that your eyeball looks as it should, thanking your lucky stars and raising a glass to my sobriety.
I think I will be probably making it 50.5 weeks instead of the required 52 so that I can celebrate my 40th in style next April. As Samantha sympathetically pointed out to me a couple of days ago though; there is not much point spending the money I was going to on my 40th, as after a year off the booze I will definitely be the cheapest date in the room. I could possibly be passed out on the floor by 7.30pm, but, if I am, I am sure that I will be asleep and very, very happy!
Cheers :-/ x
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