Sleepover

Zak has just gone off on his first ever sleepover.  The Mum was ten minutes early picking him up, thank God, as ever since it was arranged we have been crossing days off on the calendar, and since yesterday we have been counting down in minutes.  I didn't think he would be worried about staying away for the night as this child has cheerfully toddled off to childminders/pre-school/nursery/school/kids club without one backward glance, ever, at his mother.  However, all I wanted was a teeny bit of apprehension at the thought of staying in a strange house, without any member of his family present, at the tender age of seven. Not a hope.

'What's the big deal Mum?' he asked.  'I like Sam, I like his Mum, I like his Dad and I like his sister.  Why would I be scared?  I'm only taking Pooh with me to keep you happy.' Fine. Good.  At least we all know where we stand.

When this sleepover was first arranged, the younger sibling's bottom lip went out and the beginnings of a huge tantrum started to burble as Zak was doing something good and he wasn't.

'Mummy and Sebi can have their own sleepover', I pulled quickly out of my arse.  Luckily, this went down a storm with the poor deprived child with the promise of pizza out of a cardboard box in the lounge whilst watching 'Paddington'.  Oooh, we know how to live.

I've categorically told Zak that he has got a long wait before anyone comes back here for a sleepover.  I'm not having anyone here that doesn't come with a written declaration from their parents that they won't need feeding pre 9.30am and that they know how to shut the fuck up like a good 'un in the morning.  I consoled Zak with the thought that sleepovers here would be rubbish anyway and would actually lose him friends as he would still be put to bed at 7.30pm and lights would be out without a sniff of a midnight feast happening.

Sebi wouldn't want to go anywhere overnight anyway, I don't know who he's kidding.  He's just refused a play date on the grounds that he doesn't want the boy to think that he likes him more than he actually does.  God forbid eh?  Don't know where he gets it.  I had to feign deafness the other week at school when I heard him telling the teaching assistant that he did like her but obviously not as much as he liked Mrs Dawson as she was his favourite and his best friend in the world after Mummy.  Need to know basis Sebi, need to know.  Is this nature or is it learnt behaviour however?  I think he will be out Nikki-ing Nikki one day as our Easter card this year said on it: 'I have a lovely Mummy and brother.'  Poor Stu.  Apparently, a transgression from a couple of weeks earlier had meant eternal banishment from the 2015 series of Easter Sebi greetings.  What on earth have I created?