Raising Little Martians

I've always been slightly obsessive about raising nice children.  I'm currently wondering if I have overdone it somewhat.  Take this morning, for instance, Zak started a new swimming lesson and in one of the widths he was slightly ahead of the boy next to him. The boy next to him grabbed Zak's float and tried to pull him under the water.  Little shite. Zak didn't say or do anything but moved himself to a different position so that the next time they did a width that boy was nowhere near him.  This is exactly what I would've told him to do if he could hear me and I told him afterwards that I was very proud of him.  Why then, when it was happening, did quite a large part of me want Zak to shove the Little Shite's head under the water and hold it there for a while?

The boys know that being kind to other children is of paramount importance to Mummy.  I can't stand mean kids but part of me feels like I'm putting them on the back foot in their day-to-day lives.  Kids aren't kind as a rule.  Boys of all ages seem to live in a perpetual state of competition.  At this age it tends to be who is the fastest/strongest/cleverest.  In ten years time it will be who's the best looking/best at pulling the ladies/has the biggest willy.  As grown men the biggest willy race seems to merge into who has the biggest car and for many the competition seems to be all about who has the most money.

Zak does walk away from trouble and is always keen to report back to me that he has done that and tried his best to be kind.  All well and good but does this mean I'm raising a child who is going to come a cropper in a few years when someone repays his 'kindness' with a slap?  I think my husband secretly thinks so.  Stu seems to have a different view on childhood to me having grown up in a different atmosphere and also as a male.  When I suggested we might enroll Zak in a local Beavers group Stu pissed himself laughing and said he used to throw things at cubs when he was a lad!

I remember when I was pregnant with Zak one of my colleagues saying to me that if my baby looked like Stu and had my attitude nobody was ever going to mess with him. Luckily Zak seems to be going the way of a brick shithouse so I don't think he will ever be a real victim.

I think Sebi may be the one to watch.  Although it doesn't look as if he will be as big as Zak, he has perfected his mother's fuck-off-and-die stare beautifully at the tender age of three.  I think Zak may have his work cut out as they grow up bailing his little brother out of all the trouble he will get himself into.  Probably quite a similar experience to Stuart being married to me really.