Friday, 12 July 2013

A Couple of Pairs

My family is split neatly in two.  From the moment Zak was born, he looked like Stu, walked like Stu, laughed like Stu and comedy danced like Stu.  They have a shared sense of humour that only the two of them get, (and I'm afraid to say that I judge it nearer a six-year old's than a 38 year old's but that could just be me not 'getting it').

All very sweet and very lovely and it would be fine because I would receive my mini-me girl second-time around.  Oh no.  Mini-me he is but he is no girl.  Don't worry, I won't crap on about the lack of women in my house (as I have spent quite enough time on that before).

Stu and Zak are a pair of pliable, funny, friendly, happy-eaters, kind, crowd-pleasers, sociable, early-risers.

Seb and I are a couple of stubborn, friend-picky, late-risers, hilarious, pig-headed, musical, loving, sleepy, awkward, mother-fuckers.

It's interesting because of the way you end up parenting your two children.  Many of my best friends will argue with this, but, I don't have a favourite.  I absolutely love Zak and Sebi equally but in totally different ways.  I am constantly amazed by Zak and his compassion and intelligence but I fail at reaching out to him when it come to what interests him.  I have to summon up every ounce of concentration to listen at breakfast to yet another oh-so-fascinating analysis of the latest workings of the most recent game on the IPad.  I really, really don't care, but I have to, otherwise we won't connect, ever!  I frustrate Zak already with my incessant demands for kisses and cuddles AT BEDTIME. Seriously.  He is only just six.  Surely that is acceptable?  I won't be trying my luck at 16, or even 10, but at 6 I think I deserve a shot.

I find Sebi completely manageable, but to Stu he is a bit of an enigma, (as I imagine, am I).  They have a good and fun relationship but Stu doesn't understand the way Seb works at all, and he will be the first to admit that.  In the same way I have to work to find common ground with Zak, I can understand precisely what is going through Seb's head 95% of the time.  It's really quite odd.  

I had a lovely weekend a couple of weeks ago with my Uni friends when Stu took the boys up to Redditch.  They went out of a meal for Sunday lunch and Seb ordered his dinner, yet when it arrived, he threw a blue fit and refused to eat it.  Stu then ordered him a different dinner.  I pass no judgement on this, (on here anyway), as, as I have said, I was having a lovely drunken time on my own.  However, I can just imagine the bloody glint in Sebastian's eye as he achieved what he never would have done had Mummy been around.

My Dad has a lot of fellow-feeling with Sebi being a second-boy-child in quite a short space of time too.  Seb hardly owns any clothes that aren't hand-me-downs and my Dad was appalled to hear that I put him in Zak's second-hand pants.  Not quite as appalled as when I suggested that he had probably spent the best part of his childhood in Uncle Ted' pants...

Luckily, considering they are so different, Zak and Sebi have a wonderful sibling-relationship.  Thank the Lord that Zak is the elder brother however, as I think that him having the controlling power through age is what makes is work so well.  Seb worships the ground he walks on and is subservient to Zak and Zak only.  Stu holds the age card on me but somehow it doesn't quite work in the same way. ;-)

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